Why it didn't take "balls" for me to pull The Reapers & republish.

I've received a lot of praise for pulling my first novel, when it was realized that my original "editor" had lied about her credentials, and for me to spend several months reediting it before I republished. I will be the first one to admit that I could never self edit. I know my story too well, and when reading it, I don't see the words but the images in my mind. This is why I count on my editor.

I published May 31st 2015, I pulled my book in mid July when the issues became apparent that it wasn't just a simple fix.

This was my first book. I did my best at finding an editor. I failed. It happens to many authors. But I kept going. I looked again, and again, and  again--until I found one. It was painful and stressful. I hated every second of it. 

I was told I was brave, strong, and a bunch of other inspiring type words.

I'm not saying they are wrong, because who am I to tell anyone else what they believe? 
However, I, personally, do not agree.

The reapers is my first published book. I love the story, I think it's so different from anything else out there and that people will love it once they pick it up and read it.

It is this belief in my book, my story, that lead me to the path of pulling it and editing it again. I wanted the story to be what people remembered, not the fact I messed up picking an editor.

I did it for me. Sure there was a small part that did it for the readers, but 99.9% of it was for me. I wanted my story to reflect the story in my head to the best of my/it's ability.
I did it because I have a vision for this book, and the series it is a part of. I won't be satisfied with saying "Oh well! Moving on to the next book." and being done with it. I want it to be finished, then I will move on. The story is worth that time and effort. It is worth the stress, the pain, the tears, and everything else that came along during my journey. I learned a lot from it.

I did it for me, my piece of mind, and my vision. Not to make anyone happy, other than myself. It didn't take "balls" as some have said, it took my belief in my story and my vision.

Thanks to Mae Williams at Ye Olde Ink & Quill Editing Services, for encouraging me as I made my edits, and editing my MS to be amazing. 




-Ali
xoxo